Tuesday, 4 October 2016

Parents:Childhood guardians*

Since i became a parent my life, like all of you that are parents, has changed forever! There you are with a tiny little creature that awaits from you to built a world for him/her, to love and protect and keep it alive actually. With no studies, manuals and previous experiences you have been chosen to handle this job, this project, the biggest  project of your life. Its more than a job title, it's a lifetime commitment. Congratulations you have been chosen to be a parent! Welcome to the unknown.
"How am i doing?" and "What am i doing?" will be the 2 key questions that will pop in your head from day one and stay with you forever. And you will not really now until puberty and better until your kid will become an adult.

I have two sons, and of course my concern is how am i doing as a parent, what i have to do so to grow healthy and happy kids. I recently met a mum at one coffee morning, that she is a kids psychologist. My first question was of course, "what is the common problem that she faces more often?" and she replied "kids with problems with their parents." And i asked "what do you say to the parents?", and she said, "to do less mistakes, and when they do, to try fixed them as soon as possible."

And of course the answer hit me. So many broken people, adults, that their childhood was a mess because of their parents. With issues about their selves, towards the others, and problems with roots that go back at the living room of their childhood.

Oh! parenthood is more powerful than we think. You built or destroy a person. They say that only a small percentage is the parents attribute to the kids attitude and personality as it grows, well that small percentage can apparently do wonders or be catastrophic.

 When you are a parent, it stops being about you, you cannot be selfish, you cannot be egocentric. It is the time to dig deep, to take out every single good you have inside you. It's time to say " i am sorry", and " i was wrong", to take credibility for every single action.  It's time to teach a human to be a human. Human makes mistakes of course, as we said no manuals and no warranties. But some mistakes might be unfix-able, some words and some actions cannot be erased.

We have to protect the childhood of our kids, we have to be guardians of their innocent, be guidance in  the adventure "called" life. Be there to listen, support and nourish. Kids are part of us. Whatever heavy and ugly baggage we bring from our childhood has to stay behind and start fresh. not easy, but necessary.

We have to be mindful parents, our the kids needed now, more than ever!

* I found out there is a series of books that is called " The guardians of childhood" written by William Joyce who is behind the movie that i love "The rise of the guardians", i will definitely check them for my sons!

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